I have a close friend who, like me, has anxiety. When I started my blog she asked me a question I knew someone would eventually ask me. “Aren’t you scared coming out about your anxiety will affect your career?” Quite frankly, I have no desire to work for now or in the future any company that blindly accepts stereotypes, mental illness related or otherwise.
Last week I was reminded of a very important lesson. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow. Don’t put things off thinking you can do them later. I was planning on writing a blog post Wednesday night when I got home from work and posting it Thursday. That didn’t happen. Instead I spent Wednesday night in the ER.
Last Friday at 11:30pm the night of my 27th birthday I found myself sitting on the kitchen floor, fridge door wide open, fork in hand, eating the massive gluten-free birthday cake my boyfriend surprised me with earlier that day while contemplating if I should eat one of the gluten-free whoopie pies or all four of the gluten-free cake pops still in the fridge. So why was I on my kitchen floor eating cake out of the fridge instead of cutting a slice and eating it at a table like a normal adult? Guilt.
I remember the first time I started to feel like I was moving in the direction of successfully adulting. Surprisingly, it wasn’t when I got my first full-time job offer. Instead it was when my health insurance benefits went into effect with my new postgraduate employer. I felt like I was ahead of the game compared to my peers when I actively made my health a priority. I couldn’t have guessed how life altering being proactive about my health would be or how badly I really couldn’t afford to give up that mission.